Welcome 2022!
I wrote this post at the beginning of 2021, and wanted to share it again now, with some updates, as we welcome 2022. The beginning of a new year is a natural time for reflection and setting intentions. Here are some ways you can use declarative language & co-regulation to engage your child in this process.
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𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐬, 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞 & 𝐂𝐨-𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
In the past, I have written about reflection – and helping kids notice and store positive, meaningful memories. These often consist of the small moments that can be appreciated when we slow down to be present in the moment. Today, with a new year upon us, let’s talk about the future.
In RDI®, we work with caregivers to develop “Mission Previews.” These are snapshots of small moments at designated future intervals – e.g., 1-2 years, 5 years and 10 years from now. Caregivers write their Mission Previews in everyday language to capture small moments that will be meaningful when they occur. Some example Mission Previews I have enjoyed: a Dad teaching his son how to fish, a Mom looking through her kitchen window to see her child playing with a friend in their backyard, and a family cooking dinner together.
As we enter the new year, try writing a Mission Preview for yourself, or write one with your child. You can choose how far into the future you’d like to mentally travel. Even thinking one day or one week ahead practices the important skills of planning, and picturing what it is we might want for ourselves in the future.
If you do this with your child, use declarative language to model ideas first:
-𝐼’𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑑𝑜. 𝐵𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑛!
-𝑁𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒, 𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟.
-𝐴 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝐼’𝑚 𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑡 𝑀𝑖𝑚𝑖’𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐺𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑦’𝑠 ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑖𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑦.
-𝐼𝑛 5 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒. 𝑊𝑜𝑤!
-𝐼𝑛 10 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠, 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑔𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑟. 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑛 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑗𝑜𝑏!
Then, as you invite your child to think of their own previews, you could guide their thinking with declarative statements and use co-regulatory partnerships to include them in the process of getting them down on paper:
𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬
-𝐼’𝑚 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑢𝑠 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦.
-𝐿𝑒𝑡’𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠!
-𝐼𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 10! 𝐼’𝑚 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑓 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛 10.
-𝐼𝑛 10 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 16. 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑟!
𝐂𝐨-𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐬 (𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐬)
𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛
𝑂𝑟
𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑢𝑠 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑!
Giving your child time to think and brainstorming together are always helpful scaffolds for this type of exercise. And – importantly - allow your child to have ideas about the future that are FUN, even if you think they may not be realistic (…because, ALL ideas are good enough to write down!).
Last, hold onto your Mission Previews to notice if/when they come true. In my experience, once we write them down, they often do!
Happy New Year!
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