Shifting from GET to GIVE!

As promised, this week I want to keep talking to you about how to move from get to GIVE because this is the foundation of all that follows, especially when DL doesn’t work - or doesn’t “seem” to be working in a way we can immediately observe.

Below are some handy visuals to capture this idea (GIVE, not get), explain why it’s important, and offer examples of how to move forward with a “give” versus a “get” mindset when your statement seems to fall flat.

I’m proud of all of you for giving this a try!

Let’s keep up this important work so kids feel understood and not alone, and share these ideas with others so our community & this way of thinking keeps growing.

Have a great week!

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Declarative Language doesn’t always work as we hoped it would. This is OK…and expected.

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When this happens - pause, take a moment, & back up to remember that declarative communication is about GIVING.

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DL creates opportunities where kids can infer, make decisions, & problem solve. BUT, it is not about “getting” kids to do these things on command.

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We want kids to trust that we have their back and understand them. This will keep them engaged when things get hard.

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Here are 3 ways to shift from “get” to GIVE…

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Use Co-regulation

I can tell you are tired this morning! Let’s work together to put your shoes on. I’ll do the left shoe & you can do the right.

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Tap into your shared Episodic Memory

I remember the last time you felt okay once you got there. I’m thinking if you give it a try today, you might feel the same way… It’s always okay if you change your mind.

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Share an idea based on your own past experiences

Oh man! This has happened to me before too. I have an idea of what might work, when you are ready.

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