One Exchange at a Time
What an exciting week it has been with almost 1,000 people downloading or purchasing a copy of ๐ถ๐-๐ ๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, and many new followers here. Welcome and thank you!
If you are newer to co-regulation and declarative language or just now thinking about giving this new communication style a try, I want you to be successful. Here are ๐ tips:
1. ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง is the first step, along with simply becoming aware of when or how often you ask questions or use imperatives.
2. ๐๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ! Donโt feel like you need to change your communication or speaking style all at once. Change can be hard, and it takes a time to build new habits and confidence. To set yourself up for success, think of one or two opportunities in your week where you can commit to making comments only, waiting for your childโs cues (verbal or nonverbal) before adding more information, and slowing your pace overall to be fully present in the moment with your child. This could be a 5-10 minute exchange at first. Start at that place where YOU will feel successful.
3. ๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐จ๐ค๐๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฆ๐๐ค๐ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ค๐๐ฌ. As you feel comfortable, donโt be afraid to rephrase questions or imperatives in the moment. For example, if you hear yourself say, โWhat do you need right now?โ, take a moment to think, and follow up with something like, โWhat I meant to say wasโฆIโm wondering if you know what you needโ or โIโm wondering if you need help remembering what you need.โ
4. ๐๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ญ๐ข๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐. One exchange at a time is all you need to think about. Here are some ideas for the one opportunity in your week that you could give this a try โ but remember, only you will know which context or opportunity will be just right for you: One where you donโt feel rushed and you can simply be present in the moment with your child:
โข Reading a book together at bedtime
โข Going for a walk together
โข Watering plants together
โข Unloading groceries
โข While driving in the car
โข During bath time
Thank you for being here and trying something new. Have a great week!
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