How do we help older kids become more independent?

Use Co-Regulation!

Enjoy this excerpt from Chapter 5 of Co-Regulation Handbook to learn more about an important mindset shift as we help older kids.

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How do we help older kids become more independent?

Ch. 5: Moving Towards Independence: Co-Regulation and Executive Function

Use Co-Regulation!

(along with DL of course!)

Enjoy this excerpt from CR Handbook - Ch. 5!

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Here is how I think about EF:

Executive function is the process through which we first conceive an idea; picture what the end product looks like, and think through both the steps we may need to take to get it done as well as the materials we may need. Then, get started (initiate), sustain attention to the task for as long as needed, manage distractions along the way, - both internal (I have to go to the bathroom!), and external (what’s my brother doing?) - in order to shift our attention back to the task as needed. And last, stick with it (persist) until we are done. That is a lot, but we are still not done! Enveloping all these pieces is time management. We need to have a sense of whether we can complete the task in the time we have available, or whether we may need to plan to do it a different day ,and/or do the task in smaller chunks over the course of time. Phew!

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With co-regulation, you move away from prompting (& nagging)…

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…& towards partnerships, in which you are transferring responsibility over time, as your child is ready.

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This shift in our mindset - from prompting to partnership - makes ALL the difference.

When we engage kids in multistep tasks with this mindset, everything shifts. It becomes a positive interaction rather than a negative, prompted one, and we both own the learning. We are able to thoughtfully consider what may be successful to the child and adjust as they are ready for me.

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And as always…start small. One idea, one opportunity at a time, to set everyone up for success.

Change happens one step at a time.

Stay tuned! Next week, I’ll share some examples.

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