Have Some Fun with Declarative Language!

“Can I start my screen time now?” my son asked. He knows his chores need to be done before I say yes.

So, I responded, “I’m wondering if your room is clean…” … a cue to help him access his episodic memory and recall on his own that it was not. He responded, “Yes!”

I tend to notice things he does not, so in anticipation of this, I proactively snapped a picture.

We both had a good laugh as I showed him this picture and said, “I’m not so sure about that!” He then left the room and started towards his bedroom to take care of things - one step closer to his beloved screen time.

This reminded me of one of the best parts of declarative language: it can be fun to use! As you get comfortable, don’t be afraid to add humor and playful intonation to your words, or take a moment to pause and smile at your child before you speak, communicating warmth and emotional connection in the silly comment to come.

Importantly though, this idea is not just fun and games. Humor is actually a useful tool in helping kids get unstuck. And, small moments of laughter, positive connection, and joy throughout the day all work to create a positive forward momentum over time. You don’t even have to take my word for it - this is based in research. (The Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotions developed by Barbara Fredrickson – look it up!).

Can you think of any playful or funny declarative comments you have used? Leave them in the comments for others to enjoy and borrow.

And remember, the small moments really DO matter! Have a great week!

(disclaimer: my son gave me permission to share this photo, as long as I didn’t say which son it was!).

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