Co-Regulation: Where do I start?

As we engage kids with co-regulation in mind, it leads to authentic social connection, communication that is mutually meaningful, and a greater understanding of each other. Enjoy the excerpt below from 𝐶𝑜-𝑅𝑒𝑔𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝐻𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘, Chapter 2: 𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑁𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝐾𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝐺𝑒𝑡 𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑅𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝐴𝑤𝑎𝑦, where I explain how to think about and approach these important opportunities.

You can also download this visual here

Co-Regulation: Competent, Authentic, Contingent Roles

Here is that excerpt:

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Co-Regulation: Where do I start?

=> start here!!

competent, authentic, contingent

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Co-Regulation: Create roles for your child that are… Competent: The child can do it on their own with just a little bit of time and/or a little bit of help.

If you are prompting a lot, then it is NOT a competent role. Take a step back and try again.

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Co-Regulation: Create roles for your child that are… Authentic: The role is REAL & MEANINGFUL. Not contrived. Kids can spot the difference.

Daily activities that adults typically do on their own are often the best opportunities!

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Co-Regulation: Create roles for your child that are… Contingent: The process is done in partnership. We need each other to get the job done.

This is where we start to get at meaningful connections between individuals.

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Having roles of this nature (competent, authentic, contingent), lays the groundwork for mutual appreciation, respect & care.

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Examples of Competent, Authentic, Contingent Roles:

Shopping: “You can push the cart and I will put items in.”

Baking: “I’ll put the flour in the measuring cup, and you can and you can pour it in the bowl.”

Cleaning: “How about if you hold the dustpan and I will sweep?”

Have a great week!

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